i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize