sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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