I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
