I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
