you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
