honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
