so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Houston, we have a blender
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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