Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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