Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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