so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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