david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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