You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
