so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
