Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize