Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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