So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
