he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
