I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
