You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
