One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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