I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize