I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize