You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
