if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
