I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
