I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
