so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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