Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
