whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My liver just had a heart attack.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
