I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
