ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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