Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
