Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

your thong is hanging out like whoa

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(248): View more from Michigan

so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?

(248): View more from Michigan

oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen

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(860): View more from Connecticut

she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.

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(830): View more from Texas

I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter

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(209): View more from California

Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas

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(925): View more from California

Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?

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(714): View more from California

i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober

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