He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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