In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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