Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just invented taco cereal.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
