So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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