is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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