I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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