On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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