actually, I'm a sock model
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
