Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
