i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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