That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize