I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Who died my cat blue again?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
