What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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