Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize