your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
