what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
