I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
