Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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