areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
