Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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