You just made me feel so damn special
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
