You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i believe in u and ur pee
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
