Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
