honey bunches of taint.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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