Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
