i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
