Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
